Adoption Positive Language

There is language that puts adoption in a positive light, and language that makes adoptive families feel not so great. Here are some things I've heard already and suggestions to improve the way you speak about adoption!

Please note this is not about being Politically Correct - this is about making sure our children grow up knowing they are so loved and that adoption is an awesome, wonderful thing!

"What happened to their real mom?"
Try "birth mom"!

"Don't you want your own kids?"
These will be my own kids!

"Why did their mom give them up?"
A more positive way to talk about adoption is that the parent chooses adoption for their child - it's a difficult choice made with a lot of love. In foster care specifically, most parents do not choose this path but lose custody of their children temporarily while they work to make their homes a safer environment.

"Why didn't they keep the baby?"
Similarly, it's kinder to say something about choosing to place a child for adoption or to choose to parent.

A note to add - these are examples pulled from thin air and most likely, you should only ask these questions if you are super duper close with the foster / adoptive parent - these aren't questions for a casual acquaintance!